Forgive My Guilt
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I've been a practicing psychologist in an outpatient setting for over twenty-seven years. I run into eight conditions almost every day (addictions, anxiety, ADHD/learning disabilities, assertiveness, children’s behaviors, mood disorders, relationships and self-esteem). Guilt is not a major mental illness, but it is a "condition" we all experience. If you are reading this, chances are either you feel guilt or you know someone who is trying to make you feel guilt, or you know someone who feels their own guilt. You probably know, first hand, the difficulties this condition creates.
The symptoms vary but usually include an uneasy feeling, accompanied by anxiety and conflict. The conflicts might not be within your awareness, hence the difficulty resolving the ambivalence.
Yes, guilt is a form of ambivalence--a more painful form than the first--Procrastination, but usually not as deep as the third form--Forgiveness, which is the subject of the last in this series of three ebooks. Resolving ambivalence is no easy feat, but understanding this underlying dynamic is necessary if you want guilt to go away.
In this ebook, I start out with some definitions, from many points of view, and then highlight the good and bad aspects of guilt. Yes, there are actually a few good things associated with guilt, but these are not the main focus of this ebook, because we all tend to focus on the uncomfortable parts. There's a discussion of guilt in the literature, divided into four parts--Evolutionary, Neurological, Social and Clinical.
What is the difference between guilt and shame? Guilt and Procrastination? Guilt and Anxiety? What are its specific dynamics? (Think sins of omission and sins of commission). I discuss common situations that create guilt--how others create guilt in you--and how to think about them so that guilt is just one possible experience, not the only one. (Think create a THIRD standard.) I list at least a dozen irrational beliefs that make you vulnerable and another ten or so questions you can ask yourself to make these conscious. Then I list another dozen or more approaches to guilt described by other psychologists. (I didn't think of everything myself...) What are the functions of punishment? Pennance? Rationalization? Denial? Assertiveness? How do you sabotage assertivensss? (I list eight ways.) And last, I talk about guilt in relations to religion.
I sprinkle quotes throughout the text and include over two pages of them at the end. Some of them are thought-provoking, some are just funny. I like quotes because it makes text more readable, plus gives the reader a broader perspective. But, since I am a psychologist, the emphasis is on your experience of guilt and how to deal with it.
Clients are very enthusiastic about this ebook, probably because everyone can use some work on this issue, especially if you happen to be in a relationship.
"This e-book is phenomenal! I have dealt with guilt for years, though I’ve never had a good reason to, and I found this book empowering. Of course, I thought I had good reasons to feel guilty, but I didn’t realize just how irrational those reasons were. I learned that the feelings come from a struggle with ambivalence, being torn between two different sets of standards, neither of which were my own. I’ve always been a people-pleaser, and apparently had never found reason to stand my ground and create standards that were right for me. This has caused me immense resentment against those people in my life whose standards I felt pressured to meet. Reading this book was an eye-opener because it was like going down a checklist of a personal description. I didn’t understand that many of my decisions and thoughts were completely driven by guilt, and, had I not been educated through reading this book, I would have carried on in the same miserable pattern in ignorance." --B.B., Escondido, CA
Like my other publications, this ebook has no fat. It has 38 pages. Think of it as a "Cliffs Notes" publication. It's "sort of" a quick read (about two hours for the first reading), because I have to explain some stuff using terms you probably haven't heard before. But its all laid out in everyday language, just like what you're reading now.
Nobody has published what I present as the glue that makes these concepts work. I think this is why my ebook does a better job. It's process as well as content driven. The theory I espouse is different from standard explanations or other literature in this field. It works better. I know, because I've been using it with clients for years. I've put together a hard hitting, direct "How To" manual. My research has not turned up another ebook that does what mine does.
(Many people want to sample an author's work before they buy an ebook. This makes sense, so... I included some links to articles I've written on this particular subject. These are one-page articles written for the general public that reveal different aspects of this and related subjects. These articles are posted in various Article Directories on the Internet, or just on other pages on this website; both of which are very popular ways of disseminating information. The articles will give the reader a sample of my writing style. To access these articles, look on the menu bar on the right, near the top of this webpage. You will see menu buttons (Article #1, Article #2, etc.). Each links you to a different article related to the topic of that particular page. Or, you can click on the "200+ Articles button on any webpage and you will be taken to a page describing all the articles I've written about every subject. There is a link that takes you to my blog. You can peruse the article(s) on the blog or on each individual page of this website, and then click the "Back" button on the top left of your browser to return to this page.)
Ebooks are replacing standard books because they are easier and quicker to obtain. There is a need for immediate information, reasonably priced. I've priced this ebook to be at least twenty percent undermarket, considering what bookstores charge and the travel costs to and from. The ebook is now available for download. The price is:
Click on the button below and follow the links. After you've presented your credit card information (or Pay Pal), you'll receive a link to the download page. The title of this ebook is:
(Ambivalence Turned Inwards)
This publication will be presented in PDF format, which means you will need Adobe Acrobat Reader. It's free and here's the link to get it:
This ebook is also now available in electronic format, for the various ereaders like Kindle, Nook, "i" devices and a whole bunch more. If you want this ebook on Guilt for these formats, go to:
Print out a copy, but save it to disk!!! If there is some unforseen problem with transmission, call me. You can find my contact information by clicking here: Offices. Leave your email address, and I'll send you the ebook as an attachment. One way or another I'll make sure you get what you paid for, even if I have to mail it by hand (in which case, include your name and mailing address.
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